Sexuality is Confusing

Happy Pride to you all! Tune in this week as the duo share their experiences with Pride and more!

Thanks for tuning in! Be sure to give us a download and let us know what you think! You can follow the podcast or either of the hosts at the links below.
 
Discord Server: https://discord.gg/fkKexVH2k9
Twitter: https://x.com/whatareweinfur
Ryuu: https://x.com/RyuuDerg
Adobe: https://www.youtube.com/@adobetheretriever

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

You know the uh you know the restaurant? I love the restaurant everyone! Welcome back to the What Are We Infur podcast. My name is Ryu, and this is our podcast where we talk about anything related to the furry fandom. My buddy uh Adobe and I, we take turns Introducing topics each episode. Some topics may be relating to the furry fandom, some may not be relating to the furry fandom. But uh speaking of Adobe, hey Adobe, how are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Do you want a retake or are you good with that one?

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Uh I'm okay. I just got back from do you know the uh amazing digital circus? The what? The YouTube show, the amazing digital circus. No, anyway. Well, they released their last episode of the series in theaters and we went to go see it. I saw it with Lucian and Minty and my girlfriend at Twinkles, and it was really nice. Spoilers. I'm not gonna say spoilers, so no spoilers. Uh it was just it was good. It was really good. Uh that's all I'm gonna say, because I don't want to spoil it for anyone who actually watches it. It's good though. So I just came back from that, and now I am here and queer with a beer. How are you? I'm here, I'm queer, beer.

SPEAKER_04 1:13

I have a Celsius.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Why now? It's 8 40. What'd you say?

SPEAKER_04 1:22

What I didn't say anything.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

You mumbled something.

SPEAKER_04 1:25

I did. Adobe, play it back. I gotta open it before Melda yells at me. There's no way I said anything. Okay, now Adobe, if if there's something to play back, now play it in reverse.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

Okay, Adobe, if there's still if there's still something to play, then you can echo it with echoing. Echoing, echoing.

SPEAKER_04 1:51

I gotta open it before Melba yells at me.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Um, also, actually, no, I'm gonna say this because we're saying it now, because I can say it now, because it's really cool. Um Ryu, you should talk about what's active right now for another week. You know? The the cool thing. Oh, the gleam? No, but the gleam. Is that does it have it one more week? Is there one more week? Anyway, guys, we have one more week for the giveaway.

SPEAKER_03 2:15

Oh my god, there is one more week away. There is one more week for the giveaway. So we have one more week for the giveaway. From when this from when this video releases, I'm sorry, from when this episode releases, we have we'll have one week left in the giveaway to win a hundred dollar gift card.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

With an added prize of an headshot.

SPEAKER_03 2:35

A shot in the head.

SPEAKER_01 2:37

Shot in the head.

SPEAKER_03 2:38

Like over, done.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

No more pain. Done ditto done. Um, yeah, no, there was just a is for anyone who doesn't know what the giveaway, um, it's free. It's cool. Come join it. Uh, there's a link down below on all the episodes you guys can click. Uh, you guys can also get more information on the Twitter as well. There is a headshot giveaway for free. It's all free because you guys are cool and we appreciate you guys. I'm sure you guys probably heard it in the intro as well. Um, but if you guys hear saying hi or hello or saying something funny because we saw something in chat, we have a cool Discord as well. And I'm not gonna spend this whole episode shouting it out. I just want to say in the beginning because it needs to make sense. Um, but yeah, we have an audience now. People can tune in like this because there's some people in the audience. Hi, audience, you guys are really cool. Hello. Um, and this was really fun. So you guys can join that as well. It's pretty neat. It's also part of the giveaway. You guys can join it through there and get an entry that's kind of neat, you know? That's cool. That is really cool. It's so cool. It's like super cool.

SPEAKER_03 3:28

I'm loving the Discord. It's fantastic. I've been in it all the time.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

Anyway, you sexy slimy son of a bitch. What have you been up to this week? What's new? Slimy. I'm fresh, dude. What are you talking about? You can still be fresh, but slimy. I'm not saying you stink, I'm just saying you're probably slimy. My slime is fresh, all right? Fresh, freshly excreted from my that's gonna be a custom first who sprays just fresh slime. But it smells it's gonna be like one of those ocean scents, like those masculine like ocean scents.

SPEAKER_04 3:58

Something just dinged.

SPEAKER_03 3:59

Something disconnected and un something disconnected and reconnected again. Oh my god, it happened again. What day? I don't know what's what's happening to my computer, but it's making noises. Um I've been I've been good. Today was uh pretty eventful. I woke up at 10 o'clock and then I've really so eventful.

SPEAKER_01 4:19

Oh my wow wow, can we get can we get a round of applause?

SPEAKER_03 4:25

I uh let me how do I mute you? How do I how do I mute you for this um for my segment? Because I need to talk after I take a sip of my stage.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

You may have the stage. Have the stage. Stage is yours.

SPEAKER_03 4:38

Good boy. No. I woke up at 10, rolled out of bed at 10.06 after realizing that I have a dentist appointment in less than an hour, and I dress myself, I'd brush my teeth, I get in my car, and I drive to Dallas and go have people dig into my mouth and numb me up, and it was a great experience, and I didn't hate it whatsoever. It was terrible, it was terrible. I hate the dentist, but that was okay. I lived and I came home, played some Warframe, and I was I got bored, and I was like, hmm, I'm gonna go shoot my gun. So I went to the range and I shot my pistol a little bit, and then Amelda came home. I haven't even given her a hug yet or a kiss.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

I just realized give her a kiss, we'll give her a key. Okay. Tell me three things that made you smile today.

SPEAKER_03 5:34

Three things that made me smile today. Um, the dentist. He told me to smile. All right, fair. Let's see. Uh the guy at the range, after he made me um go walk to the iPad, go complete the safety waiver for the third time, and then it popped up, and then my name popped up on the on his system. I smiled at him because I was really, really getting upset. Mm-hmm. Uh and you.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Oh, thanks. You made me smile. It's because I'm so funny looking.

SPEAKER_04 6:12

And my wife. Wife. Wife. Wife. Wife, right, wife. Wife fight back. What are we in for?

SPEAKER_01 6:36

So enthusiastic. Yeah. Ryu. You know, you know what this month is.

SPEAKER_04 6:41

June.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

On top of June. Pride month. So much pride. All the gays. Yes, it is a pride month. There's a bunch of them. We haven't said it yet because I was planning to just do the whole video about it and whatever the episode. Not not we saying video yet. We have the whole episode to talk about Pride Month. This is a Pride episode. Wow. Look, because we're all pride. We're part of Pride. Um, so what I wanted to go mostly into today, and I've talked about it in the past, and I kind of didn't delve into it. Do you do you remember when I used to be gay? Yes, I remember. When I was just gay, only gay.

SPEAKER_03 7:17

And then you got sent to that transformation camp.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

Yeah. Whoa, well, mentally, yes. Um, I wanted to talk about sexuality. If if you're comfortable enough to share your side of your experience sexuality, we can absolutely go through that with you. But I also want to share my side, walk through our own experiences, and we got some more stuff we'll talk about later in the episode. But uh, I just want to have a conversation about pride. It's pride month. And I I feel like some people might be able to relate in a healthy manner or maybe just learn a little bit more about it. But it's pride month. We we we have to do a pride episode. If we don't do a pride episode, we might get canceled. So it's pride. We're doing pride, happy pride. I love pride, happy pride, happy pride. The pride's very important, and um the furry fandom is filled, a lot of people uh is filled. Dobby, slow down. Take a step back.

SPEAKER_03 8:00

The furry fandom's filled with a lunch with a bunch of with the wolves.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

There's a bunch of gays. So many gays. And a lot of allies. And we got some a lot of allies. L G B T uh Q plus. Keep going. People in the fandom. What does L G B T Q I A plus stand for for you? Um lettuce.

SPEAKER_04 8:23

Bacon.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

You're sounding out in your head too.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

You're like, what letter comes next? Hold on.

SPEAKER_03 8:32

Oh, wait, no. G. L G. Lettuce.

SPEAKER_04 8:38

G. Um. Green olives. Put music in the background for this case.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

B Bacon.

SPEAKER_04 8:50

T tomato. Um Q.

SPEAKER_03 9:00

Kind of uh vegetable sort of Quinilla.

SPEAKER_04 9:04

Vanilla?

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Quinoa. Quinoa. Quinoa. Is quinoa start with a Q? No, lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, asexual, plus. Oh, Sadobe, the eyes also intersex. I forgot, but I know this. Okay. Yep. Mm-hmm. Okay. Share what you're comfortable with.

SPEAKER_03 9:29

Yeah, I'll share what I'm comfortable with.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

I want you to take the stage for a little bit. Just talk about your experience with sexuality. You can be in the fandom. We'll kind of I want to bounce off that. But yeah, just I just talk about your general experience with pride and kind of like what things have you been involved in, what's been your experience with sexuality as a whole. We'll just kind of spitball stuff. We'll I'm gonna I'm gonna get a bunch of boba and like a straw and just spit all at you, and whatever comes first is what you what you say first.

SPEAKER_04 9:53

Oh fuck. I'm a little nervous, dude.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

It feels like it's been forever since we've done this, though. I know what the fuck? Like it really hasn't been. But I talked about in the past, and I've I've I've made jokes about it in previous episodes about um, you know, how I, you know, I was gay, I definitely played in more of my gay role, and then there's at some point there was a turning point where I was like, ooh, I might not be gay and whatever. So I wanted to take this episode to kind of elaborate on that. I'm just gonna kind of start from the beginning and just talk about my experience, honestly. So I learned about gays and gay stuff probably through porn. It's probably a good place I could start, I think. Furry porn, I would say, probably dominantly. Um, but I found myself after some time in uh eighth grade in early high school, is when I comfortably came out publicly as a gay man, gay individual. And my experience leading up till literally early last year or late lat last year, early this year, I would say is when I really started to teeter-totter the idea of my sexuality. I like I said, I identified as a gay man. I was in gay, um mostly gay relationships, or I was at least with people who I identified as gay. And overall, my experience, excuse me, my experience as a whole, I would say I'm very lucky and very grateful to be in the position I was in. I had a mother that was very accepting of it. The my friends that I had in high school and the school I was in was very open about it, um, for the most part, pretty accepting, apart from a few bad eggs, but they didn't really dominate the the scene that I had there. Um, a lot of my online friends or people who I was engaging engaging with were LGBT. During the time that I found myself as a gay man, I also found the furry fandom. And I think that's probably a large reason why I comfortably came into what I was feeling at the time because I started to find a community pretty early on into my sexuality, as well as having a mom that was my number one ride or die, still is. And it was uh interesting. And going through the whole experience, and uh what the reason why I wanted to share this is because when uh you were someone who's within the pride community and maybe don't have a lot of outlets initially, it makes you feel a little isolated. I don't know if you've experienced that at all, Ru, with your sexuality. Um not. I don't, I'm not really sure. Did you ever have a period of isolation or a time where you felt like you were kind of on your own because you didn't know anyone who was part of the community by any chance? Yeah. Or did you just have a different experience as a whole?

SPEAKER_03 12:14

Yeah, yeah. I kind of, yeah, I I was like kind of alone and I didn't have anybody to like talk about it with.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

So, yeah, and and with that, it took a lot of time for me to, you know, like even though I was openly out about it, I would always make the joke, I'd be like, Yeah, man, I wish I was straight because of this, or yeah, I wish I was normal, quote unquote. Even though, you know, normal is just kind of a social construct. But the idea of being normal was satisfying because I didn't have to worry so much about the implications of being a gay man and like homophobia and whatnot. But I stuck with it for some time and I found myself. I found myself to be um more extroverted, more friendly, and I just felt I I felt like I could create a lot more genuine friendships with people who understood who I was down to my core versus having to put a mask on, right? Right. Um, I know a lot of people and um I know a lot of people, honestly in the furry community that uh experience a lot of what would you label it? Like uh like being closeted, I guess would be the best way to describe it with their sexuality because they don't have that outlet, maybe, maybe online, but they don't have that um in-person outlet and it it's a struggle. It can be a very difficult time. Hence why we have Pride Month, because it's a big celebration and a big, you know, time to be proud of yourself and shout that out to the world. So for people who don't know, uh there might be Pride events in your area. I know at least here in Pittsburgh, we have Pride events that you can go be yourself, just how you'd like pride parades, there's vendors and whatever. And I always recommend anyone who go to those if um if you're able to, if you're in a comfortable position and comfortable area to do so, helps you kind of get acquainted with um who you are as an individual because you should always be proud of who you are. And it shows support to the to all the locals and um uh people that uh are there to support everybody, you know? Always, always. I think that's a big thing is you know, everyone who is part of the LGBT community, although they can be comfortable in their skin, there's I I I f this might not be a for everyone thing, but at least I know for a lot of people they kind of feel like they fit into a lesser crowd. And it can just it does feel very isolating, even when you do know people. Um, so I I want to fast forward a little bit into my current story now with where I'm at uh personally. When I was experiencing my shift in my sexuality from being gay into whatever I am now, I guess the best way I could describe it is maybe by or maybe pan. Maybe I think pan probably the best way to describe it. It felt like coming out again because I put this personality forward. I put this persona on of I'm this gay guy who's very extroverted, um, and will just kind of make gay jokes and and and be very forward about who I am as an individual. I dress how I wanted to dress, and you know, that was just who I was for fuck, I mean eighth grade leading until now. That was four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, about nine years, eight, nine years-ish. So coming back out again and finding who I was even more was a different type of journey, but something that you know I knew it wasn't wrong, it wasn't bad, and um, I just took some time. And I went once I was I I talked to you. I I think I think you were the first person I actually opened up to about it because I started crushing on my girlfriend, who's now my girlfriend. I remember that first phone call. I know you were so proud.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

You were like, Oh my god, Adobe.

SPEAKER_01 15:22

I was like so happy for you. I'm only like partially queer. But, you know, I kind of re-found myself, and I guess that technically can be its own episode in and out of itself. But I just kind of wanted to mention that like my my partial experience with what I've uh been through regarding sexuality. Now, I want to dive into more things, but you know, if you want to talk about your own experience and just kind of from beginning to end, like where you're at with how you found yourself, I'd love to hear it.

SPEAKER_03 15:47

Well, like I didn't I I didn't really have like a realization that I was bisexual whenever I was in high school. I didn't really think about it much whenever I was like going like growing up as a teenager was it was mainly like a social media thing, but it was like um in the furry fandom, like on for Affinity, for example. I was really into that in high school. And I don't know, I've always got like an attraction to like the male personas.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

When you were when you were kind of like finding yourself and whatnot, you mentioned like you know, like finding like furry art and finding like personas that you were more attracted to. Did you find that it was I'm gonna go with stereotypical like you know, thoughts or answers, right? Did you find that it was like wrong to go down that route? Or did you go, oh I like this? That's fine, cool. I I'm gonna explore.

SPEAKER_03 16:36

No, I was like, oh, I I was like, oh, I like this. Like, oh, this is cool. Like, I come to realize like anybody can be like attractive in their own way. And it doesn't matter like what you label yourself as or like what you are as a person, or everybody's everybody has their own unique traits that it makes them attractive in their own way. And that's kind of how I see me being bisexual.

SPEAKER_01 17:04

Question mark. Okay, so um, while you're going through like your young adult years and everything, was there anyone that you were around that you can kind of share that experience with, or was it pretty much just online because the set because I know you grew you grew up in the south, right? Yes, I did. Yeah, was there did you have anyone you could talk to at the time? And if if not, what was your outlet?

SPEAKER_03 17:25

Yeah, I didn't really have anybody that I could talk to about it like at the time. Like my mom didn't know at the time, and I'm sure she knows now, which I don't really give a fuck if she does know is surprise. Uh yeah, I don't care. Um But no, I didn't have anybody to talk about it with. I was I had like friends online that I would primarily talk about it with, but yeah, I had no outlet in person. I didn't go to therapy whenever I was in like middle school, high school.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

When you started going through like young adulthood and whatnot, um did the army change your perspective on anything or did it halt any progress you had and how you felt about yourself when you were uh deployed in the army by chance or you know in the military space?

SPEAKER_03 18:07

It didn't really halt me in any way. I mean, kinda. I didn't want to like flaunt, like, oh, like I like dudes too. I'm around a bunch of dudes, and that's all the army does. No. It didn't really change anything about me or like make me make me want to change anything about myself. So that's good.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

I know there's a lot of like from stories that I've heard, the military can cause a lot of suppression depending on like the environment that you're in. It could be like a toxic masculinity environment or just an environment where it's not welcome to be open about. Um, and if people aren't open about it, they at least keep it hidden or maybe on the back burner or sometimes just completely in denial. So I wasn't sure if your experience in that or maybe any parts of high school um incorporate that like suppression that you might have had gone through. I'm just curious, you know. I'm just kind of I'm picking your brain a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 18:54

Not really. I mean, wherever you go, there's always gonna be gay jokes made, especially in the military, and there's really nothing you can do to stop it, and just be best thing is to just don't take it personal from the if especially from a military standpoint. People are gonna say what they want to say, and it's not right because there are rules against it in the military that can get you in trouble.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

I didn't know that. I mean it makes sense, but I actually didn't know that.

SPEAKER_03 19:25

Yeah, there's a whole sexual it's called sharp, it's called sexual harassment and uh prevention. Our sharp fucking representative that we had was the most like freaky dude. He was the freakiest dude. Like he would he would be one of my NCOs came up to me one time in the field and they and he looked at me and I was I was new to the to the unit and I was that was maybe like my my third month there and he looked at me and he said how big is it? And I said, What? Oh and he said, How big is it?

SPEAKER_04 20:07

How big is it?

SPEAKER_00 20:08

That's a curveball.

SPEAKER_04 20:11

So how big is it?

SPEAKER_03 20:17

Oh man, I kinda I miss those days.

SPEAKER_01 20:19

Also, side tangent, we'll get right back to it. Arden had mentioned one of uh our audience members had mentioned that we could name our audience the pride. It's not bad, to be honest. I don't I don't mind that one at all. That's not because like a pride of like lion, you know, lions and pride lions. Okay, apparently, Arden, that's not a good idea. So you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 20:41

I never said it was a bad idea.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

Anyway, so it sounds like you had a pretty comfortable experience in most mostly as a whole. Um, did I I assume the furry fandom helped you kind of meet more people? I I know it was mostly in the online space, but did uh did your sexuality and the furry fandom have any like was it intertwined in any significant way, or did they just kind of both kind of grow with you and there wasn't there isn't much to say about it. I'm just curious kind of what your experience is with the fandom with your sexuality.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

With the fandom, it kind of went up and then plateaued, and it's kind of been up ever since. But um if that makes any sense. But no, like my sexuality really hasn't like changed. I just I mean I'm in I'm in a heterosexual relationship.

SPEAKER_04 21:30

You met a hetero? No, I'm just kidding. In pri month you used that word in pri month.

SPEAKER_03 21:37

How dare you! Not the streets!

SPEAKER_01 21:41

So, okay, how about allies then? Did you have um was there did any of your friends know about your sexuality at the time during again high school military, late military, or even post military? Did you have uh people who were allies around you that you could at least openly speak to about it, or was that not much of a thing in your life when you were I had a couple people in the military that I could

SPEAKER_03 22:00

Outwardly speak about it, like with and like talk to people with about it.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

Oh, did you drop the soap then?

SPEAKER_03 22:05

No, dude, the showers. The sh oh my god, I'll never forget this one time in the showers. Somebody turned the lights off, and then this one dude started to run around. You could hear his feet slapping on the ground. Or I'm sorry, you could hear his little flip-flops.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

That's your friend, right?

SPEAKER_03 22:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:22

I know you're talking about getting out. Yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_03 22:26

He he was running around in the in the shower. It's the open shower. There's like 10 shower heads in there. The lights are off. You hear his flip-flops running around, and you just know, like, as the sound of flip-flops splashing in the water because the water's not draining, because the drain's clogged, and he's getting closer to you, and you know you're about to be touched and staring, and lights won't come on, and it's dark, and you're covering yourself. Oh god, the horror.

SPEAKER_00 22:59

Oh, at your wedding, he he mentioned that. I thought that shit was so funny.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

Oh god. Yeah, so obviously I take it then you met a lot more people who are more sexually open in the fandom. Um did you have any people in person that you met that were furries? I'm assuming this is probably a little more recent, but you know, have you been able to make LGBT friends in the community like in person, not just online?

SPEAKER_03 23:22

Well, I met you.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

Hi, that's me.

SPEAKER_03 23:26

And then I met you in person. So, boom, there's one person I know personally. That did happen. Boom. We're still together. Together for the very good friends. Together. Together forever. Together forever. Together forever. But no, it wasn't until I was like in my twenties whenever I started to get like people, in-person friends, like local friends that I knew that were like a part of LGBTQ. Uh what are the rest of the letters?

SPEAKER_01 23:58

LGBTQIA plus. Oh, there's I it intersects. I forgot about the I. Wow, I'm gonna sound really stupid in the intro, not talking about the I.

SPEAKER_03 24:08

How dare you?

SPEAKER_01 24:09

Is there an I? Wait, I think LGBTQA. Yeah, it's L G B T Q I A plus. Even though I'm back in my day, it was just LGBT with the rainbow flag. We didn't have none of them complicated conversations.

SPEAKER_04 24:20

We didn't have them utter letters.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

So I want to dive into our next segment here soon, but I do want to ask, um, and I I'll I'll bounce off you as well here. Do you have any tips, recommendations for anyone who is either currently experiencing a change in sexuality or experiencing the fandom and want to explore the sexuality? Is there any like tips or you know, do you have anything you want to bounce off with that by a chance?

SPEAKER_03 24:40

I can't really like give many like uh tips, but I could say like if you're struggling with your sexuality, I would find like a therapist to talk to about it, and they can they have like certified LGBT therapists that you can go talk to and discuss whatever you're going through with them and they can guide you in the right direction.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

You know, maybe it's my life experience, uh, even though I I've been in therapy off and on for years, right? But I I do feel like the idea of therapy is kind of underrated when it comes to talking about sexuality specifically. I feel like there's a lot of ideas of traumas or problems that people initially think of when they think of therapy, but I think therapy is a very good mention and an easy thing to approach if you have the ability to. Because talking about your sexuality there can help you approach future complications or problems that you wanted to bring up down the road. Again, maybe this is just me, but I know when I think of the idea of therapy, I go, okay, what kind of trauma or mental health problems should I talk about? Yeah. It's not it's not necessarily sexuality that comes to mind initially, unless there's a problem that I've had that relates to that. But no, I think that's actually an absolutely golden um perspective on therapy. And uh something that I wanted to bounce in with and mention was you know, the furry fandom is obviously very, very, very uh LGBT heavy. Um, and there's there there are a good amount of straight allies that we have in the fandom as well, which is perfect. And I do know that those who are in the fandom are very lucky to be able to express their sexuality comfortably, at least in the online format. Um my biggest thing is if you're in a situation or in a place or um an area where you can't openly express who you want to be or uh who you are as a person, my biggest recommendation is just don't let that force you into an opinion of yourself that you have to withhold. You know, there are events and there are things in a lot of areas where you can go to. Um, but again, I know not everyone's lucky enough to go do those things and explore. But I just always try to recommend saying true to yourself and don't let outside pressures shape who you think you should be. Some people, you know, I know some examples are people who live in um heavily religious households, or some people who just live down south where like the idea of like racism or homophobia is a lot heavier. But you know, just saying true to yourself, maybe just focus in the online format until you can get into an area where you're able to be more comfortable. I think you and I are pretty lucky with our life experiences and in regards to like our sexuality, but uh just don't lose sight of who you are and it's okay to be different. I think, in my opinion, it's great to be different because being normal kind of sucks and it's boring, and we all live once. So, you know, you gotta have a little bit of fun with it, I guess. Be you and stay, you know, be comfortable being in your own skill. Express yourself. Express yourself. I'm expressed all over you. Express all over me. I'm gonna express all over you. So uh the second part that I want to get into, and I and I did mention early in the episode that we do have the Discord. With the Discord, I had posed a question um that I want to read some of the community responses that we got. I wanted I I asked our community if there was any pride or sexuality experiences that they wanted to share. And if if you would like to review, you and I can go back and read a few of those and just kind of chat about those before we end out the episode today. How that's how's how would that sound? Sure. Let's do it. So we do have a forums page in our Discord, and I had posed the question. I said, um, yeah, I said if anyone we're we'll we're recording an episode for Pride Month, if anyone would like to share their experiences or stories, please share them here. Um, no one had requested to keep them anonymous, so we'll go ahead and read these as is. We have three entries here. We have one from Silas, we have one from Arden, and we have from one from Aeon. Uh Rhe, would you like to read the one from Silas first?

SPEAKER_03 28:16

Hey guys, means a lot that you guys are doing a Pride episode and discussing sexuality. Very happy to share. Cannot promise that I will be brief, but I will try. How dare you? How dare you be long? So long. So long. Slender. What? Hey. Dude, my mom my mom's been saying that to me a lot lately. She she'll look at me and go, You're so tall and slender. Anyways.

SPEAKER_02 28:45

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03 28:46

I currently have very mixed feelings about pride as an American right now because of the current political moment in this the country's in. Uh I feel it's impossible not to mention because I know a lot of furries feel similarly. And and and it's frustrating seeing even queer people I know almost point and laugh at quote declining acceptance of pride. Respectfully, I think there are queer people who still have much to learn and could benefit from learning more about why pride is celebrated, even amidst the corporate bullshit that wants to profit from pride every June. However, what keeps me going is knowing that my existence in celebrating love in itself is a protest. I choose to identify with the labels of pansexual and furry, and most recently non-binary. And that puts plenty of targets on my back. Furry history very much intersects with queer history. A lot of queer and neuro spicy folks were in the fandom very early days, and clearly that number has only multiplied. I remember as a teenager, furry and safe for work and not safe for work roleplay was some of the first real queer experiences ever. When I were I was a conservative Christian and it didn't even click for me that I was both furry and very queer. Furry art, visual art, games, movies, TVs, books, etc., was a safe vehicle I used to express my sexuality and gender from a distance until I could come to terms with both. It's taken a long time to get to this point, but God, it's worth it.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

God damn, well said, Silas. Thank you for having me. Very well said. Um, I wanted to bounce off it. I highlighted a second part, but I think the idea of learning about why pride is celebrated and why it's important is actually a really good topic to go into. If there's anyone listening that would like us to delve into that, even if it's not Pride Month, but if anyone would like us delve into that, I can do a little bit of research search and we can share more of an informative episode. If anyone is interested in anything like that, let us know. We'd be more than happy to do that. Um Silas, thank you so much for sharing. I know um sexuality can sometimes be a difficult thing to talk about or uh sometimes it can feel a little a little touchy to mention, depending. But I really like that you had mentioned the idea of how and in in quoting you frustrating seeing how it's frustrating seeing even queer people I know almost point and laugh at declining acceptance of pride. I I I completely understand where you're coming from. And sometimes what I hate the most is that we can see homophobia or um sometimes even straight phobia, I guess is I don't know what word that I might use for that, but we see less acceptance sometimes in the pride community towards other people. Or yeah, you see like what would you say it was hetero what? Heterophobia, hetero, yes, or we see heterophobia from us who are identify as gay, bi, pan, trans, whatever that might be. Um, so it's it's very hypocritical. It's a frustrating uh thing to kind of experience. And you know, although we're in a phase right now where you know things like gay marriage is legal in most places. Well, no, I don't know, most places, but in some places it's legal. We're kind of on an uprise of being more accepted, being more heard and noticed. But sometimes that can either be pushed too far, like it's a big teeter-totter, I would say, with pride at the moment, is there's a lot of really good things and a lot of bad things, and that teeter's the other way, uh teeter's the other way. And it's you know, there's no balance right now, I think. There's a lot just kind of being thrown. Um, but I really like the way you kind of word everything here. I think it's uh absolutely um very well said, and I appreciate you sharing experience. Ru is anything you want to bounce off of there?

SPEAKER_03 32:18

No, I think I think everything was well said. Um he mentioned a lot of queer and neuro spicy folks were in the fandoms early days, and clearly that's multiplied 100% true. I I'm one of the neurospicy people. Um Adobe is for sure neurospicy in some way, shape, or form. Um but no, thank you, Silas, for sharing.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

I do want to say one more thing before we uh move on, is also just congratulations to you as well. From you know, you you you you uh experience a conservative Christian, um, seems like a you know, at least early lifestyle, um, and then you found yourself to be more furry and very queer. That's that's awesome. You know, it it's very hard for people to kind of come out of that. And I I mentioned earlier in the episode how it can be very difficult to accept who you are, or it might take a lot longer to find yourself when you grow up in those kind of households. Um, so you know, I just want to say congrats to you and to anyone who is currently struggling with that. Like, you know, like I said, they're the at least at the very least, there is the online community you can find and and talk to and find people with your experiences, or like Silas's experience here. You mentioning and and I and I quote, it's taken a long time to get to this point, but god it is it worth is it worth it? Absolutely, it really is being able to be comfortable with yourself, find those around you online or in person to just express who you are is honestly, in my in my opinion, just like an an idea an ideal way to go about life. Is just being comfortable with who you are and being living your life how you want to live it. Don't let other people control it. So absolutely. Thank you so much for sharing. Absolutely appreciate that. Sick. Would you like me to move on to Arden? Yeah, let's go. Let's go! Let's go! I just clicked off of it. I'm clicking back on. So our friend Arden says, I've always liked. I have reading anxiety. I've always liked I've always liked guys since I can remember having those kinds of interests. Okay, sure. That's rude. It's a little rude. No, no, I'll say cause I I didn't read the first sentence. I didn't know it was a gay statement. That was just really bad timing. That was really bad timing. I've always liked guys since I can remember having those kinds of interests. I wasn't raised to treat being gay as wrong, but I also didn't know what that was for a long time. Until then, I kind of denied it and thought, oh, I just want to be good friends with this guy. And I didn't think much of it. That's so relatable with the girl I'm dating. I remember that. When I think back on it, I still liked girls too, but I was too scared to approach anyone that liked that, so I repressed my romantic feelings entirely, even for guys. My ADHD meds probably played a part into that. In high school, I reawakened my attraction and thought I was bi. I got into relationships with a girl, and it was fine. But we were both very awkward people, so nothing really happened. Then I thought it didn't work out because I liked guys instead. I still don't know if it's because guys are easier for me to relate with. Either way, I swung to the other side of the pendulum and came out as gay. Before this point, I never really told anyone. Arden, thank you so much. My mom took a while to fully process it, but not because of my sexuality. She was afraid of how the world I would soon be stepping into would treat me. My grandparents, friends in school, and teachers were very accepting, and it was an incredibly healthy environment to grow up in. I ran with being gay through college. A few years ago, I started realizing how much I repressed my feelings for girls through my whole life. From being afraid when I was younger to identifying as gay in high school and college, even though I'm married to a man now, I believe I am truly bi or pan, but I still have preferences for guys. I've had several fur friends, so I'm not new to the furry scene. But I recently dove into I've recently dove into that too, exploring the side of myself. I'm taking it one step at a time and working on what I feel called to have. I'm taking it one step at a time and working on what I feel called to have as my son up. And even though I know a lot of furs, I wanted to navigate my own connections, which is why I'm so glad to have forged friendships. Hopefully, unless I'm too stinky. You might be. With Adobe and everyone else in this Discord. Shameless plug. Absolutely. No shameless plug here. Discord. Everyone come join the Discord. Oh, and Ryu too, I guess. Hey. To this day, I've been very lucky. To this day, I've been very lucky with the support systems of friends I've had along the way. My story isn't very turbulent or what I've heard many LGBTQIA plus stories are like, but I wanted to share. Arden, thank you so much for the story. Thank you so much, Arden. That's that's very awesome to hear that you've had decently comfortable coming out experience and being able to find yourself and find what works best for you. That's absolutely amazing. Yeah. Aryu, I'll let you take the stage here if you want to.

SPEAKER_03 36:46

No, I'm I'm glad with what you had to say, dude. You hit it on the nail of the head at first. You kind of were like, oh, I just want to be good friends with this guy, and you didn't think much of it. But that that's whenever you were young, and then as you were going through high school and college, you kind of realized, hey, I might be in the women, I might be in the dudes a little more. But eh, let's roll with it. I'm just gay, but that's fine. As Silas kind of said, he's he's he piggybacked off of uh what you said, Arden, and said, I don't know if this is the same thing uh you necessarily felt, but internalized biphobia does exist. And unfortunately, both straight and queer people perpetrate that, if that makes sense. Like thinking you're either one or the other, gay or straight. I know for myself that I also felt pretty apprehensive about my interest in women. But I had small moments where my family, knowing very knowing full well I identify as not gay or straight, would say little things that sound innocent, but they're really trying to get me to turn my head to girls. Or hoping that they'll get signs that I'm actually straight or will date a woman. And I have to sense that then do oh my god, I can't fucking read.

SPEAKER_01 38:05

You're doing great. Go ahead, honey, you got it.

SPEAKER_03 38:07

I should have to put my glasses on. I was wearing them today. I left them somewhere and I don't remember where. Four eyes, four eyes, DJ J. Where was I? And I've had to sense then do some decent deconstructing of my interests in people. Being away from family has helped me grow my confidence and and my attraction to pretty much anyone, regardless of gender, and know when it when to identify who is influencing me and when. Also, misogyny among sig some gay men slash masculine people, unfortunately, very much still exists. I wouldn't go so far as to say that has affected me too strongly, but I've noticed it.

SPEAKER_01 38:50

Wow.

unknown 38:51

No.

SPEAKER_01 38:52

Yeah, absolutely. And then that out that actually also reminds me of another idea, the idea of you know women in the fandom and how there's some pushback against women. Um, the misogyny idea and all that's too shout out to the women. If also, if that's another episode anyone would like us to dive into, I'd be more than happy to dive into some of that and maybe talk about that in another episode. I think it's a very important thing to bring focus to, especially in the fandom, how there's just pushback against certain people or certain sexualities, but you know, we're in a place where everyone should be open and should be comfortable. Um but yeah, the idea of you know there being what what was the word? Bi Biphobic. Biphobic, yeah. It it it's a very back. I mean, I I've heard it just from like my parents and not my parents, but like I've I have heard it from adults and like my parents' friends, and like the idea of like, oh well, if you're bi, you're just a slut. It's like, well no, well, I'm not trying to get in everyone's pants, but the idea of trying to figure out like who like where was the quote here? Regardless of gender and know when to identify who's influencing me, me, and when. Um, I think it's also very powerful as well. But I wanted to mention something that Arden said here. Where is it at? Because yeah, he was he came out as gay to my to my knowledge. It it was it that makes me feel very like that feels very relatable to what my current experience is. Although it's pretty on the down low, and it's I just kind of went through it as I could. I had a little crisis for about a month of like, well, why do I like women all of women all of a sudden? Like, what's I don't understand what's happening, and it's hard, it was a hard thing for me to navigate. Um, so it's kind of cool that I, you know, I'm not I don't really feel nearly as alone because even though like I can express that I'm a gay man in an LGBT space or you know in the furry space, sometimes stuff like that still can make you feel isolated. So it's actually it's uh it's really cool to hear your perspective. And I appreciate you so much for sharing that, by the way. It means a lot. Let's move on to Aeon's quick comment that he had about his experience. Do you want to go ahead and read that?

SPEAKER_03 40:37

Outside of routinely making my friends question my sexuality by saying on occasion some very gay shit as a straight dude, I don't really have any stories, LMAO. The only thing I could possibly share are times where I had people unironically try to convert me into being gay. But I'm sure we want to keep this episode positive, so I won't be sharing any of that today. LOL. Happy pride, fellas. Thanks, Aeon.

SPEAKER_01 41:03

I think that is a very important idea to at least just to go over before we end out today. Um, did you want to go ahead and talk about that at all? Because I have an initial reaction to that very much.

SPEAKER_03 41:13

Shout out to Aeon, uh, Straight Boy, Straight Boy Fox. Um, definitely still a closeted bottom. Uh yeah. Uh shout out Aeon. Actually, he's kind of like in a volley right now, so he did kind of change his species because I guess he did do believe I insert celebrated with these thoughts. Yeah, at least I remember who my friends are. Yeah, yeah. Still, his foxhona is definitely a closeted bottom. But no, thank you for uh giving some insight on this and your little standpoints. Saying some very gay shit as a straight dude is okay. Me and my friends say some very gay shit to each other all the time. I think that's just the guy thing, you know? Uh that's just guys being guys, just making straight jokes, being gay with the homies, you know? Nothing wrong with that. At the end of the day, you're an ally for sure. And I think the straight allies definitely hold a place in my heart. So thank you, Aeon.

SPEAKER_01 42:09

I'm actually very passionate about this idea of those who are straight, um, get bombarded with the idea that they have to have some different sexuality while being in the fandom. I am guilty of making jokes to my straight friends about, you know, oh, you're probably gay for doing this. But I do think that both parties, myself and the friend, do understand that like the times that those jokes are thrown out, they are meant to be lighthearted and to just have some fun. I at least personally, I don't ever believe I brought to the point where it has become toxic any manner. But I do think, genuinely speaking, and I do think that notice on this idea is important of how people who are straight in the fandom do struggle with just saying, Hey, I'm straight. I know uh experiences with my girlfriend, I'll keep it light and not too personal, but she has a guy sona, but she's a straight woman. You can see where there's crossover there, or people have made a lot of assumptions or pushed those assumptions onto her. And I know that there's other people who go through the same thing with being straight in the fandom. Um, and sometimes it can be fun, and it can be, you know, kind of like what you mentioned. Like sometimes it is fun just to say gay shit. You don't have to be gay, just make, you know, just have a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of fruity fun.

SPEAKER_03 43:14

If you're gonna go, a little bit of a little bit of a laugh and didn't hurt anybody.

SPEAKER_01 43:17

But it it it it's kind of ironic because some straight folk can feel isolated in an area where other people go to to not feel isolated. Yeah. So that's an unfortunate thing that we that we meet. And I as I also mentioned earlier with the idea of like some w like people like women just being in the fandom sometimes have a hard time. I and I've heard I've actually heard a lot of stories of people who are at least female to male or just identify identify as cis cis uh female, struggle with a lot of their identity and social uh socialness in the fandom because they identi they have or identify as a female. It there's a lot of struggle there too. Uh but You know, with the with the being you know, being straight in the fandom. I don't know if I would call it micro bullying, but there is a lot of kind of too much push back and exactly what you are straight. Uh it's unfortunate. And that that's why I wanted to at least r you know end off with Aeon's comment today, because I think it's at least an important thing to bring notice to because sexuality is confusing, but at the same time, it it's not a hard thing to understand, and people I wish more people were just accepting and be like, oh, you're this. I accept you for who you are, and that's cool. That's what the furry fandom is supposed to be about, anyways.

SPEAKER_03 44:35

Accepting people for who they are.

SPEAKER_01 44:38

We're in a stage, this is gonna make me sound so old. We're in a stage where the furry fandom is very, very online, which isn't bad because it helps people explore and experience the fandom.

SPEAKER_03 44:47

Ironically online.

SPEAKER_01 44:48

But also brings the most toxic people out. And um, those are the people that you know get the most likes and comments and retweets because oh, this person said something we gotta cancel it, or oh, this person said something. I agree with it, and I gotta be toxic too. And it just it's this big snowball effect of just things you don't want to hear, don't want to be around. Um, so there's a lot of good and bad to it. Bayon, I hope your experience in the fandom has just keeps going up. I hope. I know there'll be plateau or down moments, but I do hope you're able to comfortably be straight, be who you are in the fandom. Uh, and anyone who is straight in the fandom, you're welcome here just as much as the person sitting next to me. So um but no, I we really appreciate you and everyone who has shared. We love you. Do you have any ending comments by any chance?

SPEAKER_03 45:28

You you said you said earlier that Meg has uh a male sauna, a male OC, right? I know I know a lot of identifying males that have a lot of female sonas, and that's okay, because at the end of the day, if you want to have whatever gender sauna, go for it. I mean, it's the furry fandom. Everybody's gonna everybody's supposed to accept you for who you are and what you wanna be. You go ahead and keep shining on your little light on everybody else.

SPEAKER_01 46:01

Always, always, always be true to who you are as a person. I know it can be a shock going into a place that's meant to be open and welcoming, and then you're met with the same backlash you might have get gotten met with in the real world. I want everyone to know that anyone when you join the furry fandom, it is a very great place to be in, but you still have to find your place to be. You have to find where in the furry fandom you are able to be comfortable and still be yourself. Um, don't let anyone change who you are, be true to who you are. The second you're able to fully express and accept who you want to be, is the second things will start looking up for you and able to be, you know, you'll feel more empowered to be who you are and take more steps forward in things that like goals and dreams and things like that. You meet some of your closest friends, some of the best people ever, because you're able to just be yourself. You don't ever want to have to go into a social situation and be like, you have to put on a mask. If you're in that situation, I highly advise looking elsewhere and being comfortable with who you are. Every every one of you are so beautiful, and I love all of you. And it just sucks that everyone has to experience um some sort of you know, again, it could be racism, it could be homophobia, heterophobia. There's so much. And there's honestly talking about all this makes me want to dive into any episode, uh, future episodes. If you guys would like to see us dive into informative episodes on, you know, the idea of heterophobia, the idea we can even talk about homophobia and dive into some situations and ideas with that, either it's personal experience or some things that we could relay to you guys, or even you know, women being in the fandom and how they experience a lot of uh misogyny and hard times just because of how they identify or what they're born with. It's unfortunate. But the fandom is a beautiful place, and you listening are very beautiful. We appreciate you guys tuning in. Sexuality is a very confusing idea. Be proud of who you are. I I'm just happy Ryu and I have a platform we can share our experiences, and we appreciate you guys in the community for who we could read today. Appreciate you guys a lot. If you guys do want to see a revisit of this, just let us know. We'd be more than happy to revisit something like this. Ryu, where can they find us? Because now there's more places. Um what was that? This might be really important. Please continue, and if I'm not back, close out the episode.

SPEAKER_03 48:08

You can find us on What Are WeInfor at um Twitter slash X and also on Discord now. We have a Discord. Um, come join the server. Uh we got a growing number of members, and every one of them are beautiful. Um don't forget to check out the clean aisle. Get some entries on the giveaway, two and a hundred dollars, and a free headshot by gorgeous Meg. Thank you, Meg, for adding that extra bonus gift. So that'll be great. You can find Adobe at Adobe underscore retriever on Twitter slash X and Adobe D Retriever on YouTube. You can find me at RyuDerg on Twitter slash X. Thanks for tuning in today, guys. We really appreciate it. Again, happy Pride Month, everyone. Hope you guys have a good one, and we will see you guys in the next one. He is a dumb dog. I'm a dumb dirg. Have a good night.

SPEAKER_01 49:05

Oh, I don't he probably said a cool outro, but I'm a dumb dog. Love you guys. Bye! This is I did this is so much after he did it. Bye.